I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This baby is an asshole
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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