seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
