just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
