i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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