I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
