Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize