Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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