Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
