So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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