I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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