I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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