I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
