You can't special order awesome
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
