I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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