i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
