I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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