wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
