Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
