Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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