She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
