take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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