if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Terrible idea I love it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
