i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
