I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
