you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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