i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
