It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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