I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
