I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
