I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
