it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
