Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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