The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
