when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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