I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
