I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
