genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
