we have officially lost it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
