yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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