I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
