If i come over, it means nothing
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
