Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
barbara walters just said penis...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
