Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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