worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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