So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
