If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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