I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
