North Korea, Best Korea!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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