so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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