Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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