Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
