she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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