you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
