I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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