and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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