My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
