I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize