at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
