Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
