Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
