Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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