i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize