Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
