When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
