Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
