I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
