Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
