32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
