we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize