dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am naked and annoyed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize