Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
