I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
