Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
