There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize