areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize