Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
